Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Wednesday Words: How To Scare Small Children In A Supermarket

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Ribena, know what you're drinking...

So, I went food shopping last week. No biggie, I do it all the time, and although navigating a busy Asda on a Saturday lunchtime is, putting it nicely, ACTUAL HELL ON A PLATE, this time it was actually, um, pleasurable? The tannoy system had packed up and the atmosphere was for once, sedate. Some kids were doing MCing and breakdancing outside, which is fairly normal for Asda on a Saturday.

Anyway, it was the same as usual. Up and down the aisles, picking up the regular bits and pieces, as you do. I only had three things in mind this week: dark chocolate chips (for cookies), lime juice in a bottle (for lime and coconut ice cream), and a nice big bottle of 17p carbonated water (I've only just thought of adding some lime juice to the sparkly water, haven't I? WHAT A LEMON!), just because I like it with orange juice. Homemade Britvic 55. Hell yes. Try it, I promise it's good.

As we swung around to the carbonated drinks aisle, dodging OAPs and families with the trolley, I parked up, looking for the 17p water of awesome. I couldn't find it. I ducked down (as the water, was, bizarrely, hiding on the very bottom shelf and with my dodgy knees, I really have no chance) to check in case they were hiding. And yes, they were. So in a move akin to a contortionist, I crawled into the (fairly deep) shelf, grabbing a bottle of water, and climbing back out with all the grace and poise of a kitten on ice skates. Water acquired, shoulder dislocated (ha), I put my water into the trolley and waited for my family to come and join me.

That's when I saw him.

A young boy, aged five or six, was busy telling his Dad "I'm a big boy, I am, Daddy!" whilst clutching a two litre bottle of limeade that was half his height at least. He walks straight up to our trolley, stands up on his tiptoes, and then throws the bottle of limeade in my trolley before running away. Um... that's not quite right. Before I know it, I've grabbed the bottle of limeade and am running towards this young man, crouched down to his level (ouch, poor knees).

"Excuse me, young man? I think this is yours?" I say, offering him the bottle back, which he takes, looking shy and a bit concerned.
"You popped this in my trolley by mistake, and I know you shouldn't talk to strangers, but... you should have it back."

Thankfully his Dad was watching, amused, a big smile on his face. "Thanks," he says to me, the little boy looking up at me, wide eyes like saucers, big heavy bottle cradled in his arms.

"No problem," I reply, as I go to grab the trolley. A well dressed couple on the other side of the aisle are busy chuckling about the entire incident, which makes me laugh too. And then I had to explain the entire story whilst laughing, to my family who had just came back, in earshot of the little lad whose facial expression had changed from wide eyed wonder to actual, stomach churning fear.

Oh well, at least I made someone's day. Although I doubt that young boy slept that evening.

Wednesday Words is my new attempt at writing a little bit every Wednesday documenting untold stories from my life and some of my own personal embarrassing moments.

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