Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Wednesday Words: The Brown Dress

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Dress

Many moons ago I used to work in a big city, an hour and a half away from home. It was my very first job and I still don't know how I managed to get it - as a fresh faced seventeen year old who had never even taken a bus by herself before, or worked in an office before, it was a huge step. I learnt a lot in one short year, plenty of embarrassing moments, plenty of moments which make me cringe like I've never cringed before, but it did set me up quite well for the jobs I did after that... and I'm still learning!

One day, I saw someone wearing a beautiful shirt dress. It was chocolate brown, with a collar, and a full skirt, and it was in a stiff, cotton fabric. It looked half 1950s retro and half old school Brownie Guide leader. "That's nice," I overheard someone say, "Where did you get it from?" "Oh, Primark," said the lady. I knew immediately I had to buy one. Primark had had a bit of a name for itself in the past for being the shop filled with terrible cheap clothes that no one ever visits, but it was starting to become cool again after a really popular gold sequinned dress sold out everywhere. I needed to try and give it another chance!

Except... I forgot to go in and have a browse, and I forgot about it for several weeks after the event, until, one day, I happened to be in town and my brother had swung by to say hello. So, on my lunch break, we decided to go shopping and have a look at the shops. Primark, randomly, was on the list. As I browsed the extremely messy aisles, I walked past a rail of dresses, and there it was: The brown dress. I scanned the sizes on the coathangers and couldn't find my size (disaster) so I opted for the next size down, and literally ran for the changing room, my brother lagging behind, "I'll find a seat while you go in there, Rach."

I ran into a changing room and slammed the curtain shut, slipped my clothes off and then tried the dress on. Nice, I thought, although I think the shoulders are a bit too tight. I walked out to show my brother, who asked if I'd finished yet. So I went back in, decided it was a definite no, and decided to take the dress off. Except... that dress which was a bit snug? It was too small by miles. I could pull the skirt over my head like some kind of footballer celebrating a goal, but I just could not go any further with the top part. I was trapped. In a brown dress. With no buttons down the front. I tried wriggling my shoulders out of the dress, to no avail. I puffed and panted and groaned, and probably gave the shop assistants out the front a giggle. In the end I ran out and asked my brother if he could see a zip anywhere. "Nope." "Is there a fabric tie? Anything? Anything at all?" I cried out, exasperated, knackered and on the verge of crying.

Luckily, there was, which I managed to undo, and then spent the next ten minutes after that in the changing room trying to get myself out of the dress. When I finally managed to get one arm out of the dress, and then the other, I might have let out a small squeal of relief which might have been audible for miles.

And that was the story of how I never bought a beautiful brown dress from Primark.


Wednesday Words is my new attempt at writing a little bit every Wednesday documenting untold stories from my life and some of my own personal embarrassing moments.

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